Murder at WalMart [Archive] - SmokinVette.com Forums

: Murder at WalMart


Blackhorse Zo6
02-09-2009, 03:09 PM
So, here's the story. . .

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'

Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife' s insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the flo
or........
The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the po lice. Artie was caught & arr ested before he could even leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...


(You're going to hate me for this ... )



'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00
AT WAL-MART!'






Oh, quit groaning!
I don't write this stuff,
I receive it from my warped friends
,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.:patriot:

Brian_Brice
02-19-2009, 08:41 AM
Warped friends indeed.

800bomber
02-19-2009, 10:31 AM
that's ok, i'm taKING MY WIFE ICE FISHING AS SOON AS IT WARMS UP

BAD-C5
02-19-2009, 12:17 PM
that's ok, i'm taKING MY WIFE ICE FISHING AS SOON AS IT WARMS UP
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

jamesc4
02-19-2009, 02:17 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I told my wife she would save alot of time if she would dry her hair while she's still in the shower. For some reason, she wont take the hair dryer when I try to hand it to her!!!! :wtf: :rofl:

Harbor Master
02-19-2009, 02:26 PM
D@mn, and I was going to hire Artie to do some work for me. :wtf: Hutch

Blackhorse Zo6
02-19-2009, 07:54 PM
D@mn, and I was going to hire Artie to do some work for me. :wtf: Hutch

And thought you was the only one :blush2::rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: ..... :patriot:

BlazingC5
02-20-2009, 02:19 PM
:doh: U had me going.
That's a good price for artichokes :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: